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| Автор | могу КАЧЕСТВЕННО перевести текст. Английский<---->Русс |
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A blonde goes into a nearby store and asks a clerk if she can buy the TV in the corner.
The clerk looks at her and says that he doesn't serve blondes, so she goes back home and dyes her hair black. The next day she returns to the store and asks the same thing, and again, the clerk said he doesn't serve blondes. Frustrated, the blonde goes home and dyes her hair yet again, to a shade of red. Sure that a clerk would sell her the TV this time, she returns and asks a different clerk this time. To her astonishment, this clerk also says that she doesn't serve blondes. The blonde asks the clerk, "How in the world do you know I am a blonde?" The clerk looks at her disgustedly and says, "That's not a TV -- it's a microwave!" | The psychology instructor had just finished a lecture on mental health and was giving an oral test.
Speaking specifically about manic depression, she asked, "How would you diagnose a patient who walks back and forth screaming at the top of his lungs one minute, then sits in a chair weeping uncontrollably the next?"
A young man in the rear raised his hand and answered, "A basketball coach?" | Фанатам Толкиена =)
Tales From The Shire
Two hobbits walk into a bar where one of them picks up a barfly. They taker her to a local motel; the first hobbit goes into the motel room while the other waits outside. Once the door closes, the hobbit on the outside hears strange noises through the door, "I can't do it, I can't do it, I CAN'T DO IT!"
In the morning, the second hobbit askes the first, "How did it go?" The first one answers. "It was embarrassing. I simply couldn't do it."
The second hobbit shook his head. "Manhood problems, eh?"
"No. I couldn't get on the bed!" | In economics, a production possibilities frontier (PPF) or “transformation curve” is a graph that shows the different quantities of two goods that an economy (or agent) could efficiently produce with limited productive resources. Points along the curve describe the trade-off between the two goods, that is, the opportunity cost. Opportunity cost here measures how much an additional unit of one good costs in units forgone of the other good. The curve illustrates that increasing production of one good reduces maximum production of the other good as resources are transferred away from the other good.
Это по экономике. Определение PPF)))) | I See You!
A few days before his proctological exam, a one eyed man accidentally swallowed his glass eye. He was worried for a while, but there were no ill effects, so he forgot about it.
Once he was in the doctor's office, the man followed instructions, undressed, and bent over. The first thing the proctologist saw when he looked up the man's arse was that eye staring right back at him. "You know, " said the doctor, "you really have to learn to trust me." | - Name?
- Abu Dalah Sarafi.
- Sex?
- Four times a week.
- No, no, no… male or female?
- Male, female… sometimes camel… | A boy was meeting his girlfriend's parents for the first time for dinner. After dinner, his girlfriend and her mother left the room to do the dishes, leaving him with the father and the dog Duke, who was sitting underneath the boy's chair. Unfortunately, it was a large dinner and he really had to fart. He stealthily let out a quiet, but audible, fart.
"Duke!" the dad yelled.
"This is great!" the boy thought. "He thinks the dog is farting!" So he let out another one.
"Duke!" the father barked. The boy thought he was homefree so he let everything out at once in a really loud and smelly fart.
"Duke! Get out of there before the boy sh*ts on you!" | Two old ladies were waiting for a bus and one of them was smoking a cigarette. It started to rain, so the old lady reached into her
purse, took out a condom, cut off the tip and slipped it over her cigarette and continued to smoke.
Her friend saw this and said, "Hey that's a good idea! But, what is that thing you put over your cigarette?"
The other old lady said, "It's a condom."
"A condom? Where do you get those?"
The lady with the cigarette told her friend that you could purchase condoms at the pharmacy. When the two old ladies arrived
downtown, the old lady with all the
questions went into the pharmacy and asked the pharmacist if he sold condoms. The pharmacist said yes, but looked a little surprised
that this old woman was interested in condoms, so he asked her, "What size do you want?"
The old lady thought for a minute and said, "One that will fit a Camel." | бу га га афатар жжжет
Идея! ещё можеш давать часный уроки на форуме... по 300-600 монет за пост =)
з.ы мало в наше время словарей переводчиков... | Little Johnny and his grandfather have gone fishing. After a while grandpa gets thirsty and opens up his cooler for some beer. Little Johnny asks, "Grandpa can I have some beer too?"
"Can you stick your penis in your asshole?" grandpa asked back.
"No"
"Well, than your not big enough"
Granpa then takes out a cigarette and lights up. Little Johnny sees this and asks for a cigarette.
"Can you stick your penis in your asshole?" grandpa asked again.
"No"
"Well, than your not big enough"
Little Johnny gets upset and pulls out some cookies. His grandfather says, "Hey, those cookies look good, can I have some?"
Little Johnny asks, "Can you stick your penis in your asshole?"
Grandpa looks at Johnny and senses his trick so he says, "Well of course I can, I'm big enough."
Little Johnny then says, "Well, then go f*ck yourself, these are my cookies" | для YO-zhik:
переведи-ка на английский: "Косил Косой косой косой", но так, чтобы сохранилась колористика фразы. | | A squint-eyed man mowed grass with crooked scythe. | | 72 мульт? | | 73 нет О_о первый раз меня в мультоводстве подозревают =( | | просто я просил конкретного человека перевести | | 75 ну дык я и не перевел как ты требовал. колористика потеряна =( пускай конкретный человек с ней и мучается. а я просто привел один из вариантов перевода и то неправильный. | | гы ) а я тактично промолчал )) | 71,
Тотже самый перевод
A squint-eyed man mowed grass with crooked scythe.
НО я не поэт. Поросто перевожу
69, прочитай предыдущие посты!
66, хоть где-то и слышал, но всё равно улыбнуло))) | | 78 перевод неправильный. crooked это кривой а не косой(хотя я вообще не понимаю что значит кривая коса. как она выглядит?) + еще не уверен что действительно with должно быть. | | то значит кривая коса *косая коса |
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